Journeys.

When I was really small, they meant mind numbing boredom in the car, lots of sleeping, and an irritating amount of motion sickness in the hours that I was awake.

A little older, and journeys meant lots of sleeping(again :P ) amidst the gentle, constant movement of the train,scouting for children in the compartment, hours of looking out of the window, conjuring up random stories about the people I saw and long spun yarns about making my house when I grew "old" ( I just realised , I still use " when I grow old" for any random thing that I am too lazy to think about right now, I really wonder if it ever goes...!) on a train that went to nowhere.

The charm of trains grew over me rather fast, and I never did take to plane journeys as well as I would have assumed. There's just something very constricting about having to sit on your seat, not being able to move around when you want, not being able to get down at the station just for the heck of it , not even being able to daydream because as soon as you do find yourself settling into a comfortable chain of thoughts, there's always the lovely "tea or coffee/ veg or non veg call to shake you right up.

Journeys ... now are what constitute a major chunk of my life in Bombay. They've become more economical of course, with taxis being a luxury, buses the norm and local trains an odd source of comfort.

I love the local trains. I love seeing Darwins theory being proved right every minute I sit in the train. I love the show of strength. I love the clamour for space. I love the way I have to concentrate more intensely than I ever have, just to hear myself think.

Climbing onto that train, making your journey in one piece in that chaotic , crowded excuse for a space, that can make you feel more independent than any over hyped first salary or job will.

Theres something to be said about looking at the world as it goes past, of having the luxury to be a part of those random, disconnected lives for a fraction of a second, as they carry on without the slightest of an idea.

Theres a solidarity, as unwilling and forced as it may be , with your fellow passengers, faces that you vaguely recognise from the 7:04 fast train, theres an isolation , of your thoughts,observations and introspections.Its fun, charming and taken for granted.

Journeys in general, have to be the most underrated teachers of all times. They become monotonous, a mundane burden and soon you shut off.

Thoughts are now replaced with a much needed shut eye, buses are treated with disregard and trains with contempt and distrust unless an absolute necessity, the unwillingness for the journey to halt is now replaced with a huge sigh of relief.

Then again , I see the definition changing for me once again , ever evolving as is everything else in life.

Journey...Its a word I think of often. A word to whose importance I still am not doing justice( due to sleep deprivation , a general lack of practice in writing and plain old laziness , I'm inclined to think). I find journeys comforting. Travelling is that inconsistency , and break in time that we all keep wishing for. It gives you time to delay, time to put off something you dread and time to savor something you're anticipating .

And so I end, with disoriented , confused thoughts about so many journeys on so many levels that we make as we go along life, with a an abrupt rather dry entry that leads you to pretty much nowhere, and with a writer(or perhaps not) who's wistful , lost and very sleepy..

Till later( which should hopefully be soon )

Nikho**

There's something exciting, positively exhilirating about living on your own( as much on your own you can be anyways, when you live with your brothers :D ).. its more than just mere independence..its a high, addictive and scary.

Of course theres the stuff that you're prepared for, feeling the crunch of money(and going and spending all of it anyways :P ) , feeling lost , unsure and unprepared... but theres also so much more.. the sense of unparalleled satisfaction at menial triumphs(THE local train however is definitely NOT menial), and a heightened sense of awareness.. of everything.. from every small luxury that I've had, to the troubles that I never fathomed.

Its difficult and very,very trying.. I've cried myself to sleep, and even wished time back,but now.. older(by a grand total of 2 weeks) and wiser,it was worth it =)

So here I am.. big dreams, big plans, all of 17 and raring to go..having conquered that 1st week in a huge city and a huge-ER college(:P) ..I've had my good days, and the really, really bad ones..

And so fellow deliquents I have discovered,

1. My love for greys anatomy still remains, as does my love for chocolate :P
2. Contrary to popular opinion and speculation, my wallet,mobile,AND camera are still intact (haha...in your face :D)
3. I like rains,in fact I love them.. but just not enough to be able to love them when they lash out at your face 24 X 7 :P
4. Local trains are my thing :D .. theres something very nice about elbowing your way into the second class apartment(with your bag hung like armour so that the pickpockets dont hit a gold mine :P ) just so that you can stand in what seems a place that houses the entire population of mumbai :P
5. My brothers are actually fun people to be with and we DO get along very well :P. Also, they like me ! Yay! *
6. It is very, VERY expensive to live on your own.. particularly when your sales resistance to good clothes is nil
7. I was living in paradise as far as friends were concerned in Hyderabad.Sometimes you just have to learn the hard way.. but thats what makes the actual friends you find so much more special
8. I might get fat, but I'll still be me. (I read this 3 months later, and I ask myself WHY? With due respect to my juvenile self back then, I will let this be.)
9. Vodafone SUCKS!Also, they're looking for any excuse they get to bar your calls and your sim card :-/

AND YES,

10.Time FLIES, when you're having a good conversation

My perspective has broadened though.Its when you come to a place like this,where everyones smart,everyone's overachieving, everyone's talented that you realise you actually might NOT be the best, and how small you are in the grand scheme of things.

Right now I'm in the stage when EVERYTHING, from the idli sambhar in my college to the library facinates me :P .. I sign up for everything I can, and then complain about the lack of time...and when I DO have time.. oh well, lets not even get into that now :P

Todays day has been rather strange though. I feel nostalgic, nonplussed,disillusioned,wistful.. maybe its the week taking its toll.. maybe its just me being me :D
Its rather daunting to think though, 10 years.. 10 years since the war of Kargil.I have hazy memories of that time.. dad coming back home late, the look of worry on my parents faces, the atmosphere of depression that hung over all of us.

I was too too small of course, to realise what was happening, to take in the seriousness of the event. What must it be like? To be able to love your country so much, that everything else dims in comparison. To be the relative of someone who laid their life down, change the course of even THEIR life in your passion.. Its unimaginable,not difficult but almost impossible to even think from that perspective..I only hope though,that sacrifices like these don't get lost.. in our apathy , our mind numbing capacity to be completely obsessed with OUR lives..Till then.. this quote.. that I simply loved..

Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal.

A very bored,

Nikho =)

Rambling...Rambling yet again!

"when you have your first kiss, for it to be really good, you want it to mean
something.You want it to be with someone you cant get out of your head, so that
when the lips touch,you feel them everywhere, a kiss so deep, so hot , so real,
you don't want to come up for air.You cant cheat it. And its when you find that
first kiss that you find everything."

You cant see a quote like that and not let the world (however small when it comes to the population that actually reads my blog)not hear bout it!!Almost makes you want to be in love,crazy,infuriating,maddening and trying that it can be..Now WOULD be a good time to shut up though, yes?

Naah.. this isnt a revelation about kisses(gotcha there ), this isnt even about my new found love for greys anatomy and the extensive wisdom it continues to impart in my life(though really you MUST watch it!!!)... this post is actually pretty much nothing... just the confused ramblings of your average(maybe a little above so) teenager.. so.. i turned 17(!!!), had the most awesome birthday ever in the history of birthdays and the most crappy new years too =/..

three months left to the boards, and I'm pretty much living in a state of surreality(PLEASE let that be a word!!)a state where all I do is sleep, eat (or not actually) and watch movies( blame that on the egghead), ah blissful existence.. one unfortunately that comes to an end.. starting ummm today..school starts tomorrow ( oh JOY) and its back to the grind once again... seems so strange though... it seems just yesterday when I made an entry about rachina, varunleaving their comfort zones and going to colleges, I saw and sympathised with their confusion, the chaos and pandemonium it all brought.. and now out of the blue I am enevloped by it myself.. looking at prospective colleges, thinking about which stream to take, making resolutions to study and well..lets leave it at that ;) ,hoping like hell you get into some place good and wondering when exactly it happened that you became old enough to start worrying about all this...You're ilyplaying roller coaster tycoon one minute, watching shrek and there it is.. the future looming uncertainly over your head, scary,inviting,unnerving and exciting.I think I know what I want to do, but then again I might not, Kavya KNOWS she doesnt know what to do, Aashay doesnt really have a choice or doesnt think he does at any rate,Bhavna knows what she's meant to do but insists on underestimating herself to make us lesser mortals feel worse.. and Jayant.. well he's just another story all together:P .. does this look to you like a bunch of youngsters that are going to make it big in life?!? For some strange reason it does to me :D what is it about adolscence, about youth that gives you that rush to convince you that you're capable of anything under the sun?!!?That makes us so very cocky, intolerably confident,brash and ready to take on the wordl!?

And yet why is it when our country comes under seige with a terrorist attack in the heart of the country, the best that we can do is send messages to each other proclaiming we will wear white as a symbol of peace the next day? Making a fashion statement is DEFINITELY going to help, of course the terror,corruption and chaos in the country will come to a standstill with our choice in clothes. I don't claim to know that what exactly it is that we need to so, heck who am I anyways.. just a 17 yr old who talks to much .. but there HAS to be more to this, more that we can do, can think of.. maybe the next time that we get frisked at the mall, we could complain a little less about being "felt up" and co operate instead,the next time(god forbid though) a 26/11 happens in the country,lets not conviniently wipe it from our minds a month later,lets stop talking all the time about all thats unfair, stop lighting the candles, stop wearing those white clothes as symbols and instead actually get down there and do something, the next time a crisis hits, lets be more vigilant,more alert.. sure the politicians suck, but why shouldnt they? Arent we the least bit responsible for lulling them into this sense of complacency?! And this is not just about a horrific terrorist attack, its about are everyday actions that reek of corruption, of hypocricy,of indifference and apathy.Drinking and driving , whats the big deal? Unless the police are out checking of course, going out to vote once you are of age.. who has the time or the inclination?,we give a beggar alms at the road, and are happy to have done our good deed for the day, but when a child refusing charity decides to sell stuff on the road and earn his living we scoff at him, who's going to join the armed forces, when there are better more well paying jobs calling out to us?When I had to get a license made, I went through an agent,and sailed through the learner's test, who is to blame if I cause an accident tomorrow?Blah been there,done that it sounds as corny to me writing it as it would to you reading the same.. but just a thought to dvelve on.. many actually but what the heck :D

Till then I sign off with another pearl of wisdom from Greys :D :D :D

"Of course its not perfect.Its life.Lifes messy."

**Nikho**

For you... a thousand times over.

Wow.. this must be the UMPEENTH time I've started typing in the dashboard in attempt to get back to my forever neglected blog...! Seriously, I should just be quarantined.. no downright diagnosed with an extreme case of the forever feared "writers block"!!!









So, while I've been gone.. a lot has happened in my small little world.. the biggest happening of which would be getting my dog(FINALLY!!!!!!!).. SMOKEY!!!!!!!! However eloquently I put it in words, to even try and do justice to the happiness he gives me would be doing injustice to it!And what can I say?!!?

1. He's Cute
2. He's adorable :D
3. He's MINE!!!!!!!!!!! <3

A lot has been happening around the world as well .. and I'm not too sure if I'm too happy with the way things are going ;) .. I mean firstly..

INFLATION!!!! OH MY GOD..!!! I never thought ( or rather wished..!) that i would see a day when it would take me freaking 60 Rs from lifestyle till my house..! Now even biscuit rates seem to be going up ( Hmph..I bet milano is more expensive too.. *sniff sniff*)uhm actually not that it matters to me but I just felt like mentioning it so what the hell :D,and the worst part being my allowance just does not seem to be witnessing the same inflation!!

Oh well.. I am(what "I" , I bet the whole of India is ;) ) just hoping that this is a "passing trend" , heck it better be!

On another note.. everyone around me just seems to be leaving.. Sushma for the US, Raichu for her college in chennai, Varun for bombay,banglore..wherever(god,someone put his picture next to indecisive in the dictionary man!),Half my seniors in school for places I can't be bothered to keep track of. Entrances,Admissions,Applications.. these seem to be the only words I seem to have been hearing for a long, long time..!Its been a flurry of activities , a constant whirlwind of emotions for all of them. There's been disappointment,rejection, confusion,anger,repentance,nervousness..all of it..But beneath all this, I've also seen hope,seen the anticipation in these eyes as they envisage a new place, new people, a new found freedom and in some cases (you know.. apart from those who might not be actually going away for their colleges..?!) a completely new life.The eagerness to break into this new mould,the excitement.. its nearly contagious!At the risk of sounding cliched, they look just like those zealous birds .. raring to fly out of their nests, and explore the world for all its worth ;) (these are birdies that I sure will miss :) )I might be a bit too dramatic,but even being a part of it all is rather exciting.!! In a way, I feel like I'm seeing reflections of what I am going to be witnessing next year.Sure most of the time it scares me a little, terrifies me even,yet at some crazy level I can't help but look forward to it :)

Recently though, I have pretty much been the lazy bum that I am ;) .. one good thing that came out of all this would be the decent amount of reading that I managed to pack in :).. speaking of which

My entry would be incomplete without mentioning a book that has had a most profound effect on me is reading the "Kite runner".Too say that the book is beautiful would be an understatement of the year. The journey of two boys from contrasting socio-economic backgrounds sticking by each other through their childhood triumphs and petty trials and tribulations touches the heart in all the right chords.The author captures Aamir's failures, his doubts and his ultimate collapse of character during his childhood in a manner that is superb beyond words.His lack of self confidence, and confusion at his fathers apparent but strange lack of affection all hit home. In comparison, Hassan's (the sidekick and hazra servant of aamir) unwavering loyalty, his devotion, patience and almost unrealistic love towards Aamir render you speechless and horrified at the his tragic outcome at the same time. It was one of the few books that made me cry. One of the few books that made me thankful for having lived in a country, born to parents and an environment that has allowed me to thrive as an individual.Yet it also made me painfully aware of the fact, that while I and a million other girls all over the world blossomed, a million other women scattered over places like Afghanistan and parts of even India are like those flowers that have been cut off just as they were budding.What would be it like, to live each and everyday with their realisation that your voice was born to be silenced, that you mighit never be given the "privilege" of education even if you yearn for it while your male counterparts( and possibly even females ones like me..!!) are floundering it away, to make the oppression, the almost daily humiliation and constant scrutiny a habit and way of your life.I can't help but shudder at the prospect of such a life, and yet, it is a stark reality, a reality these women are possibly living without so much so as a word of complain.As I read in the book"Every woman needed a husband. Even if he did silence the song in her."How true. Even behind the facade of modernisation, a woman is deemed incomplete without a husband even today in our "progressive" society.A line so sad, yet so subtly descriptive of women all over.

Through this book, I was also introduced to the horrors of a war, of being colonised by another country or an extremist political institution.The extent to which human values can be degraded, eroded and made a mockery of,and finally the triumph of the human spirit that ( one can only hope, a majority of the time) rises out of it.Hope, determination, compassion and courage, one of those many values that brings us out of trying times, however dark they may be.

Perhaps, I am reading a bit too much into the book(Uh wait books are MEANT to be read, but hey you got the point right!?!?),maybe I'm not. But one thing is for sure, for a little while at least, the world seems a bit brighter, my family,friends and freedom and lack of any overtly horrific tragedy till now(touch wood and thank god :) ) a boon.



And every time I think of a close friend, my parents, smokey :P or just simply unconditional,unadulterated love and loyalty towards a person, these words will linger in my mind forever,


" For you,a thousand times over"

Trying hard to get back..

*Nikho*

A bit of this , that and my thoughts..!

Story of my life..just when I have my exams.. I ALSO have :

1. Dance classes that get over 5 days before my exam.. leaving me to wallow in self pity and panic... yeah did i mention panic?( ok.. so i brought it upon myself.. but there could be no earthly way I was missing this class..I mean hello.. this is Aneesha we are talking about.. it was almost like a conspiracy to keep me from doing well.. honest!)
2. A new.. absolutely unread stack of Gerrard Durells in the childrens library at the club.. geez now I cant give up on that.. CAN I?
3. A new found OBSESSION ( no trust me.. there is no other word for it) for FRIENDS.. that compels my helpless body to drag itself to the television at 11 : 30 and 12 : 30 in the night..and gee.. doesnt take any rocket scientist to figure out what I , or any sane ( wait.. did I just say SANE??!?) person would be doing during that half hour interval..oh and this is AFTER I watch FRIENDS at 7:30 while I am trying my best not to pass out in the gym too :P
4. An irresistable urge to talk on the phone for long hours.. and worry about how much portion I have left..while I am doing absolutely NOTHING about it.. =)
5. daydream.. sigh.. I <3>

Well.. surprise,surprise.. the exams are over(read.. so is my life.. after the results though).. and I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do.Its like I've been enveloped in this warm, fuzzy blanket of lethargy that I just cant seem to get off me!!

Which.. uhmm.. might I just add.. really SUCKS.

But I guess this is just one of the mysteries of life that I am just not destined to understand..

On the brighter side though.. IT RAINED>>!!!

And not just rained, it poured..the cats and dogs, the really splashy noise making, the kinds you can nearly see rains :D
No sane person would sit home when they could be out in such smashing weather.. right..right?!?!?!!?!?

So out we were.. kavya and me.. walking around.. with an umbrella halfheartedly dragged along.. of course, I am not going to bother to bore you with the details of the subsequent addition of nadia to our entrouge and the ensuing mud fight that followed... coz uhmm thats that :D (smooth huh)

It is strange though.... how much one just blabbers when you're on a sleepover... I mean from the most trivial anecdotes to the deepest of the secrets they all just seem to come tumbling out over these tell all nights..want to get some dirty dough on a person...? just call em over for a sleepover!

Oh well.. I digress from my point.. its just that kavya and me had this interesting conversatio( read, I shot the questions..and on account of the whole sleepover magic thingy i just apprised you about.. she readily answered..*evil laughh*) at three in the night.. when our subject of intersest turned out to be the world.. and what we found unfair in it..

well.. if you ask me... I can draw up a fair list :D (on the whole unfair aspect I mean..hehe.. just call me the born whiner) but the point she came up with was staggeringly true.. and that was about how despite whatever we might claim, beauty ( and of the skin deep variety) matters.

I am no saint when it comes to these matters myself.. I'm finicky (WAY TOO finicky as Bhavna and Kavya would readily vouch for :P) about what I wear when I'm out,I'm constantly running to gym(running to gym... LOL.. running.. TO the GYM.. get it ;) ) to shed weight despite all my good intentions because I DO want to look like a million dollars(farfetched,but what the heck), I take hours to get ready and I change in and out of my entire wardrobe in the span of that time, I am constanly lamenting about the "apparent" lack of clothes in my wardrobe, my first appraisal of a person is on the basis of their looks.. you get the point.

I know its shallow.. and I'm constantly reminded of it.. but my mindset.. however much I might try for it to.. doesnt seem to change..and I can safely say, it isnt just me but more than half the world that suffers from this narrow mindedness..but when(that is IF there is even a when) are we going to get rid of it..? Sadly.. I suspect that the time isnt anywhere close.. all of us just seem to be so besotted with the whole idea of beauty about and around us, that the whole concept of "inner beauty" reeks of fakeness to me..and that realisation,trust me is a sad state to be in..

Yeah.. sure beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. pardon me though.. the beholder(s!) sure seem to be a highly critical lot these days..

But one experience, over this whole week that I really,truly enjoyed would be going to freedom foundation(an institution for AIDS affected kids in bolarum..and DARE you stop reading now :P) after the exams ended.. not to forget, dragging bhav,kavya and varun along with me too..they say once you go to places like these, you really do realise how lucky you are..I never really believed that ( You have to admit.. it does seem kind of uhmm IMPOSSIBLE?).. that is TILL I went to that place.

There are AIDS affected kids.. many of them possible abandoned by their families, shunned by a majority of the society(my mum herself told me that I shouldnt be going so "indiscriminately"..dont ask me.. I cant for the love of god figure out what she meant and frankly.. i dont want to),and still so perfectly happy, so perfectly lovable that it brought all of us to shame .. literally.

The surprising part is.. bonding with the kids is the least complex part or of the entire process.. handling your own feelings and conscience after such a visit.. now thats a toughie.

Hugging them, letting them hold your hand without the slightest flinch, playing with them.. (thats no mean feat though... try playing out-out with these kids.. fiesty is NOT the word :P),talking to them... being yourself.. thats what they seem to want.. and just by letting go of my fears and shedding those unwanted inhibitions.. I got so much more than I had bargained for.. gratefullness, compassion and most importantly...happiness like one I had never experienced before.It is a wonderfully symbiotic relationsip... we flatter ourselves.. thinking that those children need our support.. but the truth be told.. we need those children, their innocence, their optimism, their outlook towards life, their smiles and excitement at your company... a LOT MORE.

Maybe I am sounding preachy,what the heck.. I KNOW i am.. but thats how it is.. an experience.. such that words seem to fail me when I try to describe it...

Oh well.. life is complex,tough and difficult.. but I've learnt to love it for all it is..you have the bad days, the terrrible ones.. but you also have the RAINY days :D , the happy ones.. the ones you share with people you truly love.. the ones you spend in absolute contentment with yourself.. the days on which you form some great friendships..rekindle some old ones.. the ones on which you play hobscotch and become kids again, the ones on which you watch 50 first dates and awww to yourself all day long,the ones on which you have a huge avalanche sundae with extra chocolate guilt free,the ones on which you go through a kazillion albums and realise how cute you WERE as a kid (SIGH),the days on which Ross and Rachael kiss and makeup( for the millionth time ;)) on FRIENDS,the ones on which you cuddle inside your blanket and read all the seven harry potters back to back with your ipod blaring,the ones on which you get all hyper about the rain and have a mud fight in the park :D .. and those days..those days are the ones life is all about :)

Trying to grin and bear it ;)

*Nikho*

Childhoods revisted :)

(HECK I know I am giving infinite publicity to the movie.. WHO CARES :P)So I FINALLY saw it today...after some 3 consecutive futile attempts at seeing Taare Zameen Par.. we finally did manage to see it courtsey Riddhima today.. and WOW.. all I can say is that it was completely worth the wait!Needless to say.. most of us girls were in tears :P :P.. god.. I am SO pathetic, I cry at the parts where like uhmm absolutely NO ONE sheds a tear...!?!? I mean uhm hello.. I was crying in Ta Ra Rum Pum, just coz Saif Ali Khan was driving his cocker spaniel out of his house and I started missing Mocha.. yes... the story did not touch me one wee bit.. but the dog just had to do it..!!And today.. I was ok for most of the 1st half... and then that song starts.. that one about mothers... and WOAH....my faucet of tears just REFUSES to stop, it was like this whole thing about Oh-my-god-i-so-love-my-mom-but-dont-appreciate-her-enough instances just flashing before me eyes..I might tend to dramatise things a BIT :P ;).. but seriously, there are somethings that just do make you introspect so much.. some pictures of my childhood, my first day of kindergarten with my standing right next to me, mum and dad beaming proudly when i won some award uhmmm In class I(hah..THOSE were the days :P )..and the lyrics of that song was just amazing.. if you ask me(ok,I know noone is...but what the heck..MY BLOG remember ;))songs like these are like masterpieces.. so few, but yet so wonderful.. like that song "Lukachippi" from RDB.. The lyrics just sears right through the heart.. anyways.. gettting back to Taare..=)...That kid was just AMAZING.. seriously.. I could totally identify with that whole lower lip trembling and the bawling beginning part..(uhmm wait.. most whiny kids would :P)...the range of emotions in the movie was just fantastic.. just about everytime the kids or Aamirs eyes starting shining with tears, rest assured your eyes are going to be welling with some of em too :P ..from the kids stubborness, retaliations,depression and finally his triumphs.. we all could relate to it so strangely well..the situations, the parental pressure and expectations,the impatient teachers,the inevitable evil bullying(woah... I remember facing a LOT of THAT when I was small.. some kids I remember, could give hard core criminals and blackmailers a run for their money...! I can never forget the trauma of having to do the homework of a kid EVERYSINGLE day,just coz that Idiot was the tiffin monitor.. and I was uhmmm lets just say. a PICKY EATER :P)... Most intresting it was to see Varun.. though he might unconvincingly claimed he wasnt crying..it was just too touching when he said he was going to make sure his dad saw the movie.. since he had always been skeptical about the whole dyslexia thing with him.. but,it wasnt just the story of a dyslexic child, it was the story of a childhood most of could relate to having faced at some point or the other..sure, their were those slight gliches in the movies.. some of those too good to be true parts.. however the way the movie dealt with dyslexia was just amazing.. but what I found most touching was the way they spoke about the parents,teachers who are constantly, ceaselessly driving their children to excel in their studies, irrespective of the child's indidvidual talents, capabilities or even limitations.Let alone the difficulties for a dyslexic child, the world has become so fiercely competitive...not just the parents, we oursleves too.. admittedly... one of the main things that drives us to do better IS competition.. but to what extent?Study, excel in academics and THEN WHAT?What about the talents I might have? The hobbies I want to pursue..?Sure, I'm a little frazzle brained now, so I do know that there are a LOT of loopholes in what I am saying. But more importantly, what I am trying to point out is that there must be such a vast, huge expanse of talent there that all of us are wasting.. just because when we prioritise, it is understandably studies that take the forefront in comparison to anything and everything else..(uh apart from good ol fun that is ;) ) ...but even around me..I see so many people... Bhavna with her amazing artistic skills, Kavya with her writing, Karishma with her singing.. so many of us, who refuse to make the most of the gifts Gods bestows on us.. because of maybe low self esteem, that casual almost lazy attitude we tend to adopt towards our talents and mostly because of those endless strereotypes that insist notwithstanding any talent we might, how much ever evident and extraordinary, we do our best , our very best in academics..even if it means eventually taking a road we do not enjoy travelling on.. doing something we dont really have our heart in..I might seem naive, almost silly.. but yet, I am still nagged by this thought.. how much could it reallly hurt... to try your hand.. and I dont mean joining some summer classes just coz your parents forced you to.. but really seriously take up something you truly ENJOY doing and taking up the courage to really give it your all...hmmm just a passing thought.. that I cant seem to put adequately enough in words..

Oh well.. I simply CANNOT make this entry without mentioning Red's absolutely DELICIOUS cake...Oh my god.. the minute I put it into my mouth, I was sure I had died and gone to chocolate heaven or something.. Woah..I mean hello.. rich,sinful chocolate mousse with LOTS of raisins and a base of chocolate cake.. which sane person WOULDNT be transported to the heights of ecstacy :P :P

2 days to New Years, and I STILL am not sure about what I am doing for new years.. god... I am so pathetic :P have I mentioned that before?

Anyways, better end it right here,right now (woaahh..CORNYYYYYYY!) before my dad kills me for his much favoured for online bridge..(search me :P)

Just being me..

*Nikho* =)

All of that... and more :P

Yeppp.. and so I'm back... back to bore you with .... oh wait... why am I even bothering here..?!? Been there, done that... now off with it :P
O.O my last entry was.. umm kinda .. uh old..!?!!? And a lot has transpired since then... heck I became 16...! :D :D ..And wad it the best sweet 16 a girl could ask for or what..!?!!?!?I brought my birthday in with the people I really love, oh and who went to GREAT extents to make this day special :D :D, with loooots of cake(maybe calories too :P who cares,a birthday comes just once a year;)),lots of HUGZ,with surprise.. comeon.. i would have been really disappointed if there were none on my 16th!,and ooodles of yappy, sappy sappy moments ... it doesnt hurt that I got gifted an ipod either ;) and a ring too, and FRIENDS season finale episodes....hah.. this is where I start doing a mini jig around the computer prompting my poor mum to think her daughter has FINALLY lost it :P

Anyways... am pretty much content with my life right now.. who wouldnt be, holidays, fever so you can be given the royal treatment and loadsss of good books to read(ahem, theres that tiny cloud of the unit tests, but that can be "dealt"*sinister laugh* with later :P) o.O and I read ..............*drumroll*"THE GODFATHER"... OHMG... That Book is, I quote "the book of all time".. It almost made me wish I was born in a mafia family.. (hah.. and how would THAT be) .. the description, that gang war... the complexity of the characters.. and those ENDLESS layers the book runs through.. I literally devoured it. Its so rare that you find a book like this one.. the kind I wouldnt mind updating my orkut profile for, just so that I could add in my list of favourite books :P

Lifes pretty much monotonous otherwise, its strange... but its like I have to stop and think a kazillion times while writing all this.. maybe I've just lost the flair ... sigh... that sure does wonders for my self esteem.

The new years is just 3 days away, and I have not the faintest idea about what I want to do. Oh well, staying at home and watching those programs and christmasy/new years kinds movie on the television doesnt seem such a bad bet either... o.O cant believe I just said that, maybe the fever just got to my head or something :P
And now it finally happened.. yesterday I'm on the phone when Aashay suddenly went like "oh ya,that Bezanir Bhutto got assasinated...." and I shrieked "WHAAAAAAAA?!!?" to top it off,the stupid hathway connection had to start acting up then. I don't know why, but it really was a shock.. I know she was exiled from her country on corruption charges and all of that...maybe she wasn't such a great person either... but its still so strange, I dont think I can really explain why.. but the assasination in particular left a nasty taste in the mouth.

Somethings just do... like everytime I read about some new fatwa that they've issued against Sania Mirza... woah that irritates me..! ok, makes my blood boil more like it!
Here we are, in the 21st cenutury.... seemingly advanced, and there re still those sections in the society that are willing to threaten someone who is admittedly bring fame and glory (comeon, frankly... not that I have any personal liking for her,she has had her sure share of hits.. apart from the humongous publicity generated around tennis thanks to her) for what...!?!? Oh right,that would be wearing a tennis skirt that is too short... there are still those sadits from VHP who went around on CHRISTMAS EVE, destryoing churches in Orrissa and killing people. All of this just makes me despise the whole concept of religions sometimes. The tolerance level in all of us for other human beings, their faith, religion, beliefs or even thoughts is so staggeringly low. Its just so sad, that someone can actually stall the success of an individual because they refuse to let go of their antiquated notions wherein the lady shouldnt be ought there in the first place.Equally sad is the fact that those sadists, those extremists to the core who claim to be "protecting the sanctity of religion" are willing to comprimise on the very sanctity of humanity. I mean how sad and sick minded could be those people, who are willing to spread such ill will on a day like Christmas.. when (at least thats what I.. in my idealistic self feel) even the coldest of hearts seem to thaw with those merry carols,decoarated churches, and that general air of festivity all around. My own grandmother proudly tells me that she gave her sons the freedom to marry anyone, except a Muslim... is that what we've been reduced to.. labelling people,their behaviour,character,efficiency on the basis of the god they pray to? The faith they believe in?At times like these, the world seems a scary place to live in... but you go with the flow all the same. The most I can do is nonsensically rant about it, and then go on living my life, while such people live theirs..maybe its not as abnormal as I believe it to be,but to me the most freaky thing is when someone tells me.. well ya.. Narendra modi dint reeaally do anything wrong with those mass killings in Gujarat.. "they" deserved it...

Oh well.. I can go on about this, but I'd rather stop.. its a pretty distressing thing to think or write about..!
A little confused and scatterbrained,

*Nikho* =)

P.S : Thanks so much rituraj for those topics, I wud have totally used them had I not been abjectly mortified t the fact that I couldnt think of anything to write and hence have been shamelessly ignoring my blog :D .. I'm patenting those now though :D