Story of my life..just when I have my exams.. I ALSO have :
- Dance classes that get over 5 days before my exam.. leaving me to wallow in self pity and panic... yeah did i mention panic?( ok.. so i brought it upon myself.. but there could be no earthly way I was missing this class..I mean hello.. this is Aneesha we are talking about.. it was almost like a conspiracy to keep me from doing well.. honest!)
- A new.. absolutely unread stack of Gerrard Durells in the childrens library at the club.. geez now I cant give up on that.. CAN I?
- A new found OBSESSION ( no trust me.. there is no other word for it) for FRIENDS.. that compels my helpless body to drag itself to the television at 11 : 30 and 12 : 30 in the night..and gee.. doesnt take any rocket scientist to figure out what I , or any sane ( wait.. did I just say SANE??!?) person would be doing during that half hour interval..oh and this is AFTER I watch FRIENDS at 7:30 while I am trying my best not to pass out in the gym too :P
- An irresistable urge to talk on the phone for long hours.. and worry about how much portion I have left..while I am doing absolutely NOTHING about it.. =)
- daydream.. sigh.. I <3>
Well.. surprise,surprise.. the exams are over(read.. so is my life.. after the results though).. and I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do.Its like I've been enveloped in this warm, fuzzy blanket of lethargy that I just cant seem to get off me!!
Which.. uhmm.. might I just add.. really SUCKS.
But I guess this is just one of the mysteries of life that I am just not destined to understand..
On the brighter side though.. IT RAINED>>!!!
And not just rained, it poured..the cats and dogs, the really splashy noise making, the kinds you can nearly see rains :D
No sane person would sit home when they could be out in such smashing weather.. right..right?!?!?!!?!?
So out we were.. kavya and me.. walking around.. with an umbrella halfheartedly dragged along.. of course, I am not going to bother to bore you with the details of the subsequent addition of nadia to our entrouge and the ensuing mud fight that followed... coz uhmm thats that :D (smooth huh)
It is strange though.... how much one just blabbers when you're on a sleepover... I mean from the most trivial anecdotes to the deepest of the secrets they all just seem to come tumbling out over these tell all nights..want to get some dirty dough on a person...? just call em over for a sleepover!
Oh well.. I digress from my point.. its just that kavya and me had this interesting conversatio( read, I shot the questions..and on account of the whole sleepover magic thingy i just apprised you about.. she readily answered..*evil laughh*) at three in the night.. when our subject of intersest turned out to be the world.. and what we found unfair in it..
well.. if you ask me... I can draw up a fair list :D (on the whole unfair aspect I mean..hehe.. just call me the born whiner) but the point she came up with was staggeringly true.. and that was about how despite whatever we might claim, beauty ( and of the skin deep variety) matters.
I am no saint when it comes to these matters myself.. I'm finicky (WAY TOO finicky as Bhavna and Kavya would readily vouch for :P) about what I wear when I'm out,I'm constantly running to gym(running to gym... LOL.. running.. TO the GYM.. get it ;) ) to shed weight despite all my good intentions because I DO want to look like a million dollars(farfetched,but what the heck), I take hours to get ready and I change in and out of my entire wardrobe in the span of that time, I am constanly lamenting about the "apparent" lack of clothes in my wardrobe, my first appraisal of a person is on the basis of their looks.. you get the point.
I know its shallow.. and I'm constantly reminded of it.. but my mindset.. however much I might try for it to.. doesnt seem to change..and I can safely say, it isnt just me but more than half the world that suffers from this narrow mindedness..but when(that is IF there is even a when) are we going to get rid of it..? Sadly.. I suspect that the time isnt anywhere close.. all of us just seem to be so besotted with the whole idea of beauty about and around us, that the whole concept of "inner beauty" reeks of fakeness to me..and that realisation,trust me is a sad state to be in..
Yeah.. sure beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. pardon me though.. the beholder(s!) sure seem to be a highly critical lot these days..
But one experience, over this whole week that I really,truly enjoyed would be going to freedom foundation(an institution for AIDS affected kids in bolarum..and DARE you stop reading now :P) after the exams ended.. not to forget, dragging bhav,kavya and varun along with me too..they say once you go to places like these, you really do realise how lucky you are..I never really believed that ( You have to admit.. it does seem kind of uhmm IMPOSSIBLE?).. that is TILL I went to that place.
There are AIDS affected kids.. many of them possible abandoned by their families, shunned by a majority of the society(my mum herself told me that I shouldnt be going so "indiscriminately"..dont ask me.. I cant for the love of god figure out what she meant and frankly.. i dont want to),and still so perfectly happy, so perfectly lovable that it brought all of us to shame .. literally.
The surprising part is.. bonding with the kids is the least complex part or of the entire process.. handling your own feelings and conscience after such a visit.. now thats a toughie.
Hugging them, letting them hold your hand without the slightest flinch, playing with them.. (thats no mean feat though... try playing out-out with these kids.. fiesty is NOT the word :P),talking to them... being yourself.. thats what they seem to want.. and just by letting go of my fears and shedding those unwanted inhibitions.. I got so much more than I had bargained for.. gratefullness, compassion and most importantly...happiness like one I had never experienced before.It is a wonderfully symbiotic relationsip... we flatter ourselves.. thinking that those children need our support.. but the truth be told.. we need those children, their innocence, their optimism, their outlook towards life, their smiles and excitement at your company... a LOT MORE.
Maybe I am sounding preachy,what the heck.. I KNOW i am.. but thats how it is.. an experience.. such that words seem to fail me when I try to describe it...
Oh well.. life is complex,tough and difficult.. but I've learnt to love it for all it is..you have the bad days, the terrrible ones.. but you also have the RAINY days :D , the happy ones.. the ones you share with people you truly love.. the ones you spend in absolute contentment with yourself.. the days on which you form some great friendships..rekindle some old ones.. the ones on which you play hobscotch and become kids again, the ones on which you watch 50 first dates and awww to yourself all day long,the ones on which you have a huge avalanche sundae with extra chocolate guilt free,the ones on which you go through a kazillion albums and realise how cute you WERE as a kid (SIGH),the days on which Ross and Rachael kiss and makeup( for the millionth time ;)) on FRIENDS,the ones on which you cuddle inside your blanket and read all the seven harry potters back to back with your ipod blaring,the ones on which you get all hyper about the rain and have a mud fight in the park :D .. and those days..those days are the ones life is all about :)
Trying to grin and bear it ;)
*Nikho*
