There's something exciting, positively exhilirating about living on your own( as much on your own you can be anyways, when you live with your brothers :D ).. its more than just mere independence..its a high, addictive and scary.

Of course theres the stuff that you're prepared for, feeling the crunch of money(and going and spending all of it anyways :P ) , feeling lost , unsure and unprepared... but theres also so much more.. the sense of unparalleled satisfaction at menial triumphs(THE local train however is definitely NOT menial), and a heightened sense of awareness.. of everything.. from every small luxury that I've had, to the troubles that I never fathomed.

Its difficult and very,very trying.. I've cried myself to sleep, and even wished time back,but now.. older(by a grand total of 2 weeks) and wiser,it was worth it =)

So here I am.. big dreams, big plans, all of 17 and raring to go..having conquered that 1st week in a huge city and a huge-ER college(:P) ..I've had my good days, and the really, really bad ones..

And so fellow deliquents I have discovered,

1. My love for greys anatomy still remains, as does my love for chocolate :P
2. Contrary to popular opinion and speculation, my wallet,mobile,AND camera are still intact (haha...in your face :D)
3. I like rains,in fact I love them.. but just not enough to be able to love them when they lash out at your face 24 X 7 :P
4. Local trains are my thing :D .. theres something very nice about elbowing your way into the second class apartment(with your bag hung like armour so that the pickpockets dont hit a gold mine :P ) just so that you can stand in what seems a place that houses the entire population of mumbai :P
5. My brothers are actually fun people to be with and we DO get along very well :P. Also, they like me ! Yay! *
6. It is very, VERY expensive to live on your own.. particularly when your sales resistance to good clothes is nil
7. I was living in paradise as far as friends were concerned in Hyderabad.Sometimes you just have to learn the hard way.. but thats what makes the actual friends you find so much more special
8. I might get fat, but I'll still be me. (I read this 3 months later, and I ask myself WHY? With due respect to my juvenile self back then, I will let this be.)
9. Vodafone SUCKS!Also, they're looking for any excuse they get to bar your calls and your sim card :-/

AND YES,

10.Time FLIES, when you're having a good conversation

My perspective has broadened though.Its when you come to a place like this,where everyones smart,everyone's overachieving, everyone's talented that you realise you actually might NOT be the best, and how small you are in the grand scheme of things.

Right now I'm in the stage when EVERYTHING, from the idli sambhar in my college to the library facinates me :P .. I sign up for everything I can, and then complain about the lack of time...and when I DO have time.. oh well, lets not even get into that now :P

Todays day has been rather strange though. I feel nostalgic, nonplussed,disillusioned,wistful.. maybe its the week taking its toll.. maybe its just me being me :D
Its rather daunting to think though, 10 years.. 10 years since the war of Kargil.I have hazy memories of that time.. dad coming back home late, the look of worry on my parents faces, the atmosphere of depression that hung over all of us.

I was too too small of course, to realise what was happening, to take in the seriousness of the event. What must it be like? To be able to love your country so much, that everything else dims in comparison. To be the relative of someone who laid their life down, change the course of even THEIR life in your passion.. Its unimaginable,not difficult but almost impossible to even think from that perspective..I only hope though,that sacrifices like these don't get lost.. in our apathy , our mind numbing capacity to be completely obsessed with OUR lives..Till then.. this quote.. that I simply loved..

Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal.

A very bored,

Nikho =)